Starting from Grace
More Thoughts on Purpose (14)
HI FRIENDS
What we’re doing here is not new. I know that lots of people are talking about purpose, and that it’s quite a buzz word at the moment, especially in the self-help zone.
And I’m really aware that when we talk about purpose and pursuing life-long goals, that it can all go awry quite quickly. It’s so normal that when we do (finally) discover a dream that we really want to get after, we want to throw ourselves all-in, and then, when we do, it bites us in the bum.
In our zeal, we adopt an attitude toward our goal-setting which leads us down an unhealthy path.
It can lead us to overwork,
to perfectionism, self-centredness,
an unhealthy sense of self-worth,
to neglect the important things in life,
and ultimately to burn-out.
It can lead us to cynicism about goal-setting altogether, and damage our healthy sense of ambition. All because we are striving to meet some standard, to make the grade, to do a good job, to be good enough.
So, as we’re coming up to Christmas, and everyone is starting to think about those love-them hate-them New Years resolutions, I thought, let’s not skip past Christmas!
Recently, I reconnected with an old mentor from my days as a Christian youth worker, where I was living a semi-monastic life in community in the South West of England. It was a deeply formative experience for me, and I particular wanted to ask him about a teaching which we called “spirit of excellence”. In classic style, my mentor Andrew reminded me that in all our speaking about and working on finding purpose in life, we must “never move beyond grace”.
Mmm.
If you’re not familiar with this word, grace is a very Christian word that means so much. Grace is the freely given, unearned acceptance, forgiveness and love that God gives to all beings. Grace is kindness. It’s when you don’t really deserve something, but you get it anyway. Grace is something we have to receive, not earn. We believe that God loves us just as we are, not because of what we do or don’t do, but because God is love. And for Christians, when we talk about grace, we’re talking about this whole new way of being. Grace is going beyond earning. It means starting from acceptance. Starting from good enough. Starting from blessing.
And so Christmas is about the arrival of grace.
At the heart of this teaching is the reality that we don’t improve and change and grow by whipping ourselves into shape. Or by being perpetually impossible to please. It’s counter productive. Shame, self-hatred and guilt are a bad way to fuel the rockets that we are, compared to the rocket fuel of joy and life that is unleashed when we start with grace. Start with an acknowledgement that you are inherently worthwhile and valuable even before you begin your work.
So when we are pursuing excellence, chasing our god-given ambitions, we must start with bountiful, Christmas-dinner-style servings of grace. As you look back on 2022 and look ahead to 2023, let’s have grace for ourselves. Grace for others. Grace for the journey. And grace for the unpredictable, imperfect results.
Grace to you in all your endeavors friends, I’m excited for what 2023 will bring for each of us.
Godspeed and Merry Christmas,
T Mo
COMING NEXT YEAR
Deep dive into the Enneagram personality typing system for learning your unconscious motivations.
A look into the Future Authoring program. The psychologist informed journalling tool for setting life-long goals. This tool helped to get this whole project started for me, so I’m a big fan.
Start With Why from Simon Sinek.
In-depth interviews exploring how people found their vocation.
More book reviews!
Anything else you’d like to see?
NEWS & LINKS
Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.
—Viktor Frankl
Struthless on Finding Direction in life.
I particularly love his Five Bosses idea: if you please at least four of them, then you may have a good plan!
A thought-provoking video from the legendary Ali Abdaal:
“Follow Your Passion is Terrible Advice. Here’s Why”
I think I largely disagree with him here. But maybe it’s largely down to semantics and what we mean by “passion”. The difference could be that his definition of passion is more shallow than mine, or maybe that he is concerned first and foremost with forming a successful career. I don’t know, what do you think?